READ: Leslie’s House of Nightmares. | “When my son leaves another boy, it’s as if that boy has ceased existing. But my daughter, like her friend, is tormented by what might be going on elsewhere, in another girl’s life. You can describe this as a kind of feminine problem, but looked at in another way isn’t it an extraordinary gift?” | How do you solve a problem like a family? | “You’ve gone through the agony of taking an idea that is perfect – it’s soaring, it comes from this other place – then you’ve had to summon it down and process it through your shit brain. It’s coming out of your shit hands and you’ve ruined it completely.” | Jeanette Winterson: my family Christmas. | “Be silent, recover my strength, start again.”
LOOK: First major Vanessa Bell retrospective. | The Female Eunuch is on Audible read by Germaine Greer. | Whole roasted cauliflower with almond-herb sauce. | Parmesan rind broth. | Cheesy mashed potatoes for the soul. | Frosty cavalo nero. | Something Curated: a much-better-than-usual guide to London’s art, culture and people. | What have we done? | “Shortly before commissioning the project the client was involved in a life threatening car accident, leaving him paralyzed from the waist down. As such, he requested a complex space, ‘because the house will define my world’.”
THINK: What people don’t understand about the white working class. (Remember when Obama was mocked for eating arugula?) | “Educated v less educated may be even more toxic than rich v poor, because it comes laden with assumptions of moral superiority. These days the rich find it quite hard to get away with the presumption that their wealth is proof of their virtue. When they seek protection from the system, it is pretty clear what they are up to: they are looking after their interests. But when the educated look out for themselves they can dress it up as something ostensibly better than that: expertise. To those on the receiving end, that stinks.” | “It is unconscionable, this know-better recrimination, directed at the very people who just put the most work and energy into defeating Trumpism, coming from those who will be made least vulnerable by Trump’s ascension.” | Is this how democracy ends? | “I don’t believe in apocalyptic—until the apocalypse comes. I think nothing is the end of the world until the end of the world.” | “Abraham Lincoln fought clinical depression all his life, and if he were alive today, his condition would be treated as a “character issue”—that is, as a political liability. His condition was indeed a character issue: it gave him the tools to save the nation.”
READ: Elizabeth and Alice. | I loved Inside Vogue by Alexandra Shulman.
LOOK: Season Two of Susie Orbach’s In Therapy. | Nuno Mendes’s salted cod with potatoes, garlic and comté. | A home for David Hockney. | Rainy Cafe.
THINK: “Quickly we changed the subject, because I was nineteen years older and, if we married, she would be a widow so long…” | “You actually don’t know when you will die. You don’t know when your future partner will die. You don’t know what sort of health you’re going to be in. Anything could happen at any minute.” | “Grief is an attack on life. It’s not a seducer. It’s an ambush or worse. It stands right out there and says: ‘The minute you try something, I’m waiting for you.’” | Children don’t always live. | “I rearranged my day-to-day life because I wanted to be an “art monster,” a basically self-explanatory term coined by Jenny Offill, but also because I wanted a serene home, reasonably clean, put to rights during the afternoon and enjoyed at night.” | “The nurse painted her skin with a yellow-brown antiseptic. Then the cutting began.” | A conversation about acne. | Pop culture can’t deal with black male sexuality. | “Truly endarkic people crave solitude and, perhaps less consciously, cataclysm, if only for the opportunity to prove their self-reliance…”
POST MORTEM: What it took. How a lifetime of compromises and concessions brought one woman to the brink of history. | “We owe it to them not to react hyper-emotionally, even while we make an effort not to under-react intellectually.” Talking to kids about Trump’s victory. | “Women with less economic or personal autonomy are often drawn to a culture of family values that emphasizes men’s responsibility to look after women… The flip side of women having all these freedoms from male control, they believe, is that it actually threatens women’s entitlement to male protection.” Why women voted for Trump, despite his misogyny. | “Much of the newly energized left has come to see the white working class not as allies but primarily as bigots, misogynists, racists, and homophobes, thereby condemning those often at the near-bottom rung of the economy to the bottom rung of the culture as well. A struggling white man in the heartland is now told to “check his privilege” by students at Ivy League colleges.[…] And so they wait, and they steam, and they lash out.” | Autocracy: rules for survival. “…in the face of the impulse to normalize, it is essential to maintain one’s capacity for shock. This will lead people to call you unreasonable and hysterical, and to accuse you of overreacting. It is no fun to be the only hysterical person in the room. Prepare yourself.” / “Cassandras” Jenna Wortham and Wesley Morris process a Trump presidency.
READ: Bad writer. | “Before you commit to writing as a career, make sure you’re not simply agoraphobic or depressed…” / “Everything seems as blunt and eccentric and knowing as an email written at white heat: a mode of address that assumes it’ll all be understood—and if not, then fuck you.” | “My least favorite received idea about writing is that one must find one’s voice, as if it’s there inside you, fully formed and ready to turn on like a player piano. A voice is what emerges from an informed intelligence as it reaches toward accurate perception.” / “… my envy focuses not necessarily on writers whose work I admire, but on those whose performance of the writer’s life I find convincing.” | “My mother was apparently cleaning one day, and she found the writing and wrote, “Very good,” and put it back.” | “I wanted to exercise a discipline that made demands of my body rather than my cortex.” | Cried. | The Mothers sounds exciting (“I don’t know what to do with good white people.”)
LOOK: Making Gay History podcast. | French spies! (Netflix in US, Amazon in UK). | Perfect Hillary poster. / Favourite US election podcasts. | I urgently require this incredibly expensive, beautiful water filter?
THINK: Housekeeping as an accomplishment and an act of love. | “What is always striking about the owners of taste is how aggressive they feel they have to be in proving they are right. It is a sadomasochistic contract: I know what is good, and therefore if you disagree you are clueless or worse.” | “In a sense, she is daring voters to study her positions, listen to her answers and not look to her for entertainment or emotional impact.” | It’s not in your head: new study links birth control to depression. | Feel it, show it, label it, watch it go.
READ: “What happens when a dancer is denied the ability to labor? How we endure this insult becomes all we have left of our beauty.” | My son, the prince of fashion. | Seeing stars by Alex Ronan. | The novelist disguised as a housewife. | Right before the H&M show, the woman dressing Nef had given her a long look and said, “Are you a model? You’re a little uglier and fatter than the other girls.” | Web Safe 2k16 and memories of the pre-broadband Internet. | The clean. | Was Ma a bitch?
LOOK: Still Processing. | British Vogue documentary / What I see in the mirror by Vogue editor Alexandra Schulman. | The perfect London house. | Meals that can cook unheeded throughout children’s bath and bedtime and emerge, perfect, in time for Bake Off: Cook Simple / Anna Jones’ traybakes. / Rachel Roddy’s vegetable bake. | Baked spinach rice. | I do sort of wish this was a blog rather than a cookbook but obviously my copy is ORDERED. | Staff meals. | #GRWM. | The first hundred Penguin books. | London’s female drag queens.
THINK: What ‘boyfriend’ clothes are really selling. | “I just really couldn’t deal with it. But when it was just a perfect little black horse, it was just everything I’d dreamed of.” | “The irony is that the middle-class focus on doing well as individuals helps to consolidate the success of the group as a whole, while the relative working-class emphasis on solidarity can serve to increase tension and frustration between individuals.” | “I tried Hillary Clinton’s diet and now I sympathize with her” <3 / “Anticipating a lot of attention, she instructed the team to be ready by the phones…”